She adjusted well to the cat, and I learned that she did not bark (with exception of 2 times in her life, once at someone walking up the driveway in a raincoat, and 1x when someone came up to her from behind) and RARELY jumped... only if you asked her for a hug or she really wanted to play with me outside. For several years she enjoyed trips in the car with her head out the window and daily trips to the fields and parks nearby to run. Man could she run! She ran sideways like a coyote but as fast as a greyhound! Her favorite activity was to play at the park with her Kong. She destroyed toys like you wouldn't believe.. so she had a surplus of Kongs only. She had a thing for leather shoes and footballs.. and a few episodes of eating a frozen turkey while I ran into the store (3 min), an entire pizza off the table, out of the box and left no evidence of a mess.. and one time a fluff and pb sandwich out of the bag with no tears or mess!
She and I moved a few times, and each time we settled in, I noticed anxiety settling in with her. It started with her hiding in the basement on a couch when it was loud, or if I was gone. She started pacing and sometimes would jump up and hunker down in your lap if she was scared. (imagine this with a 65-70lb dog). We moved again, this time out into the country where she could run free.. and she did! Several times running away down the roads, me yelling outside of the driveway for her for hours and hours.. and 1x giving up looking for her in pure exhaustion and tears... just to find her in the car! (she jumped in when door was open and was laying in the backseat napping!). Her anxiety got worse as she got older... the vet suggested a medication... a few days later after leaving the house for less then 1 hour, her anxiety was too bad to handle and she ate a window.. yes a window! She was locked in a kennel in the bathroom with the door closed and 2 gates on it (as she had other incidents before that required this technique)... and she bent the bars and collapsed the kennel around her, crawled out, broke the gates into pieces, and chomped on the top of the window and shattered it... we stopped the medication then. Through the next few years she ate door handles, broke our french door latch by clawing at it, knocked over trash cans and compost piles, got ON TOP of the granite counter tops and kitchen island area clawing at the windows and knocking over plants, pots, plates and whatever else was in her way. We put her outside.. she bent steel on the trailer doors... she ate the phone wire out of the ground.. knocked over the rabbit hutch (almost) and on and on we go. We were at our wits end several times, but we knew her anxiety was getting worse and she was going to hurt herself really bad someday. We tried medication again... and watched for 60 days but no change or relief for her. We knew that her anxiety would be the end of her before anything else... and then came the thunderstorms and rain... wind.. she would refuse to go outside for days, and last week tore the curtains out of the wall. This large dog could hide anywhere- under the seat of the car, under the bed, behind the couch.. even under the babys bouncy chair.
3 years ago I took her to a new vet... he noticed a delay in her foot reflex, typical for German Shepards... this never stopped her or slowed her down. We watched it, and never became an issue nor did her hips. Sophie was born shortly after this, and she became Sheba's baby... if you came to the house and wanted to hold Sophie- expect Sheba to be on your foot and watching you. Sophie crawled and laid and drooled on her and Sheba loved the attention. She would often push Sophie when crawling and walking.. we realized she was protecting her from things like the stairs, the stove, falling into something that could hurt. We got Sheba a kitten to play with a year later... and Gargamel became the dog in the house (he was a cat let me remind you). Where ever Sheba went, Gargamel would follow. They became best bud's- playing, rolling, chasing each other outside, slept together and would both eat dog food together. Her anxiety remained the same for a bit... her hips not bothering her then a little over 6 months ago I stopped and listened to her as she walked across the kitchen floor and I could hear this shuffle dragging noise.. and realized it was her foot, not returning to the pad each time she took a step. This was subtle but noticeable. I took her in and she was diagnosed with a degenerative nerve disease only found in German Shepards that can coincide with hip displacia. We tried medications and the outcome would not be long for her as the spine dies and can quickly take on killing the nerves in the legs up to the hips. It was not painful but could be sensitive to touch. She never appeared in pain, never whimpered or slowed down. If it was a good day and you let her out.. she would play like she was 2 again. It was then I realized how old she had gotten.. she had started to gray, no longer did the things she used to do... amazing how it stopped one day and I never noticed? We got a new pup for her shortly after.. and this helped her for 6 months with getting outside and her energy levels. Last month she started to get worse... her hips started to sway side to side and sometimes she could not walk up the stairs. I took her into the vets and he said it is time.. but I wasn't ready.. and he told me that I will know when it is time for her...she will let me know. So on and on we continued our lives, she had SO MUCH spunk left in her while playing with the puppy- running, chasing, barking, jumping and rolling around. Last week she stopped wanting to be near him, she refused to go outside, she stopped eating 1 of her meals of the 2 I give a day, she didn't move much and no longer wanted to be touched or wanted to play... today I felt it.. I knew it was time. She was laying in the kitchen staring at her food, so I brought it over to her so she could eat it laying down... but she didn't want to eat it, nor get up. She looked at me as if giving me permission. I cant explain the emotions... but it just felt like today.
I told Sophie (we had previously prepped her at initial vet appointment) that today would be the day Sheba would die... she went to her father after I informed him today we were ready to let go... and she told him that today Sheba would be going to doggie heaven. All day we talked about what would happen, and that she would no longer be in pain and would stop eating her snacks when left out. Sheba would die, and we would not be able to see her again like we could at the moment.
She had a good day today... we had time to cuddle, we walked, we played with her Kong, she got to beg at the table, she had bacon and eggs, grease, biscuits and whatever else we threw her way. She kissed the kids and got to lick me (I HATE being licked and she would not lick me if I told her not to). I laid a blanket for her in the car, my husband lifted her up for a last ride. She never stood up to look out the window, she never moved until we got to the vet. A sedative helped relax her while we all sat with her in the back of the jeep. Sophie, Chad and I... Caleb facing us in the middle row seat laughing and cooing. Sophie got to cuddle and talk with her until Sheba got to the point of sedation that made her lay down and relax. Chad and I sat with her in the back, taking turns talking to her, patting her and just loving her... for the first time in 7 years we saw her relax and rest. The 2nd dose of sedative you could see the calm come over her and the glimmer in her eyes washed away. The IV drug did not take long, and we watched her take her last breath... a big one as if a big sigh of relief. We came home and buried her right away while the kids napped.
Sophie has begun to ask where Sheba is, I ask her to tell me where she went.. and she replies that we took her to the vet, she died and is now in doggie heaven. She wanted to know where she went.. so I showed her the grave. She has asked if we could dig the dirt so Sheba could come out, she has asked to bring Sheba dinner at the grave and even asked if she could come back now. It is settling in with her... and my emotions need to go aside so Sophie can learn and feel grief in her own way. When tucking her into bed tonight, she asked where Sheba was again and I told her again, Sheba died, she is no longer in any pain and can walk with not falling over, she died because she hurt and was getting old and her spirit is in heaven, her body is on earth and we bury people and animals under ground.. but they are no longer living.. it is just a body...... "now that she is in heaven and feeling better and no longer hurts she can come home again, right momma?" I wish hunny, oh do I wish!
Sheba is the first close pet to die for Sophie... she will be 3 in less then 2 weeks and will experience more death as a young child then most... today was a lesson for all of us. I have never lost a pet like this before, or have ever had to make the decision to put one down... this is not an easy task and there is no right or wrong answer on what side you stand on and what you believe... but when it is time... trust me- you will know and they will know.
The pup has been outside a few times, running in the driveway and yard stopping and looking around, wondering where Sheba is... Gargamel has cried non stop since he has been in and Pumpkin is staring at me intently in the living room.
Tonight I will mourn the loss of a piece of my life... the dog who has always been at my feet and puttering behind me.. the one that caused me to yell and scream at her, the one that made me want to get another.. the one that cuddled in bed with me, sat beside me in the car and stole snacks off from my plate. The one that begged for popcorn and iced tea...The one that always greeted me at the door, went to bed with me and woke up with a doggie smile. Rest in peace now Sheba... you are loved and I hope you know that.
