Rest In Peace Sheba

7 years ago I opened an Uncle Henrys and looked through the animals.. I really was not in need of one, but I looked and there I found an ad for a female German Shepard in Orrington... I called... and I visited and there I found my first dog, Beth Sheba VanShutland. She was 2 at the time, was abused and had once had a litter of 9 but no longer wanted to be with all of the other dogs (17)... she had a red/brown tint to her eyes and lay on the floor curled up in a ball looking and staring at me like she was going to rip my throat out...or was it a plead to help her? I decided to help her.. and off we went on our way to our small condo in Waterville where she had no yard, had 2 flights of stairs to climb and no other pets to play with.

She adjusted well to the cat, and I learned that she did not bark (with exception of 2 times in her life, once at someone walking up the driveway in a raincoat, and 1x when someone came up to her from behind) and RARELY jumped... only if you asked her for a hug or she really wanted to play with me outside. For several years she enjoyed trips in the car with her head out the window and daily trips to the fields and parks nearby to run. Man could she run! She ran sideways like a coyote but as fast as a greyhound! Her favorite activity was to play at the park with her Kong. She destroyed toys like you wouldn't believe.. so she had a surplus of Kongs only. She had a thing for leather shoes and footballs.. and a few episodes of eating a frozen turkey while I ran into the store (3 min), an entire pizza off the table, out of the box and left no evidence of a mess.. and one time a fluff and pb sandwich out of the bag with no tears or mess!

She and I moved a few times, and each time we settled in, I noticed anxiety settling in with her. It started with her hiding in the basement on a couch when it was loud, or if I was gone. She started pacing and sometimes would jump up and hunker down in your lap if she was scared. (imagine this with a 65-70lb dog). We moved again, this time out into the country where she could run free.. and she did! Several times running away down the roads, me yelling outside of the driveway for her for hours and hours.. and 1x giving up looking for her in pure exhaustion and tears... just to find her in the car! (she jumped in when door was open and was laying in the backseat napping!). Her anxiety got worse as she got older... the vet suggested a medication... a few days later after leaving the house for less then 1 hour, her anxiety was too bad to handle and she ate a window.. yes a window! She was locked in a kennel in the bathroom with the door closed and 2 gates on it (as she had other incidents before that required this technique)... and she bent the bars and collapsed the kennel around her, crawled out, broke the gates into pieces, and chomped on the top of the window and shattered it... we stopped the medication then. Through the next few years she ate door handles, broke our french door latch by clawing at it, knocked over trash cans and compost piles, got ON TOP of the granite counter tops and kitchen island area clawing at the windows and knocking over plants, pots, plates and whatever else was in her way. We put her outside.. she bent steel on the trailer doors... she ate the phone wire out of the ground.. knocked over the rabbit hutch (almost) and on and on we go. We were at our wits end several times, but we knew her anxiety was getting worse and she was going to hurt herself really bad someday. We tried medication again... and watched for 60 days but no change or relief for her. We knew that her anxiety would be the end of her before anything else... and then came the thunderstorms and rain... wind.. she would refuse to go outside for days, and last week tore the curtains out of the wall. This large dog could hide anywhere- under the seat of the car, under the bed, behind the couch.. even under the babys bouncy chair.

3 years ago I took her to a new vet... he noticed a delay in her foot reflex, typical for German Shepards... this never stopped her or slowed her down. We watched it, and never became an issue nor did her hips. Sophie was born shortly after this, and she became Sheba's baby... if you came to the house and wanted to hold Sophie- expect Sheba to be on your foot and watching you. Sophie crawled and laid and drooled on her and Sheba loved the attention. She would often push Sophie when crawling and walking.. we realized she was protecting her from things like the stairs, the stove, falling into something that could hurt. We got Sheba a kitten to play with a year later... and Gargamel became the dog in the house (he was a cat let me remind you). Where ever Sheba went, Gargamel would follow. They became best bud's- playing, rolling, chasing each other outside, slept together and would both eat dog food together. Her anxiety remained the same for a bit... her hips not bothering her then a little over 6 months ago I stopped and listened to her as she walked across the kitchen floor and I could hear this shuffle dragging noise.. and realized it was her foot, not returning to the pad each time she took a step. This was subtle but noticeable. I took her in and she was diagnosed with a degenerative nerve disease only found in German Shepards that can coincide with hip displacia. We tried medications and the outcome would not be long for her as the spine dies and can quickly take on killing the nerves in the legs up to the hips. It was not painful but could be sensitive to touch. She never appeared in pain, never whimpered or slowed down. If it was a good day and you let her out.. she would play like she was 2 again. It was then I realized how old she had gotten.. she had started to gray, no longer did the things she used to do... amazing how it stopped one day and I never noticed? We got a new pup for her shortly after.. and this helped her for 6 months with getting outside and her energy levels. Last month she started to get worse... her hips started to sway side to side and sometimes she could not walk up the stairs. I took her into the vets and he said it is time.. but I wasn't ready.. and he told me that I will know when it is time for her...she will let me know. So on and on we continued our lives, she had SO MUCH spunk left in her while playing with the puppy- running, chasing, barking, jumping and rolling around. Last week she stopped wanting to be near him, she refused to go outside, she stopped eating 1 of her meals of the 2 I give a day, she didn't move much and no longer wanted to be touched or wanted to play... today I felt it.. I knew it was time. She was laying in the kitchen staring at her food, so I brought it over to her so she could eat it laying down... but she didn't want to eat it, nor get up. She looked at me as if giving me permission. I cant explain the emotions... but it just felt like today.

I told Sophie (we had previously prepped her at initial vet appointment) that today would be the day Sheba would die... she went to her father after I informed him today we were ready to let go... and she told him that today Sheba would be going to doggie heaven. All day we talked about what would happen, and that she would no longer be in pain and would stop eating her snacks when left out. Sheba would die, and we would not be able to see her again like we could at the moment.

She had a good day today... we had time to cuddle, we walked, we played with her Kong, she got to beg at the table, she had bacon and eggs, grease, biscuits and whatever else we threw her way. She kissed the kids and got to lick me (I HATE being licked and she would not lick me if I told her not to). I laid a blanket for her in the car, my husband lifted her up for a last ride. She never stood up to look out the window, she never moved until we got to the vet. A sedative helped relax her while we all sat with her in the back of the jeep. Sophie, Chad and I... Caleb facing us in the middle row seat laughing and cooing. Sophie got to cuddle and talk with her until Sheba got to the point of sedation that made her lay down and relax. Chad and I sat with her in the back, taking turns talking to her, patting her and just loving her... for the first time in 7 years we saw her relax and rest. The 2nd dose of sedative you could see the calm come over her and the glimmer in her eyes washed away. The IV drug did not take long, and we watched her take her last breath... a big one as if a big sigh of relief. We came home and buried her right away while the kids napped.

Sophie has begun to ask where Sheba is, I ask her to tell me where she went.. and she replies that we took her to the vet, she died and is now in doggie heaven. She wanted to know where she went.. so I showed her the grave. She has asked if we could dig the dirt so Sheba could come out, she has asked to bring Sheba dinner at the grave and even asked if she could come back now. It is settling in with her... and my emotions need to go aside so Sophie can learn and feel grief in her own way. When tucking her into bed tonight, she asked where Sheba was again and I told her again, Sheba died, she is no longer in any pain and can walk with not falling over, she died because she hurt and was getting old and her spirit is in heaven, her body is on earth and we bury people and animals under ground.. but they are no longer living.. it is just a body...... "now that she is in heaven and feeling better and no longer hurts she can come home again, right momma?" I wish hunny, oh do I wish!

Sheba is the first close pet to die for Sophie... she will be 3 in less then 2 weeks and will experience more death as a young child then most... today was a lesson for all of us. I have never lost a pet like this before, or have ever had to make the decision to put one down... this is not an easy task and there is no right or wrong answer on what side you stand on and what you believe... but when it is time... trust me- you will know and they will know.

The pup has been outside a few times, running in the driveway and yard stopping and looking around, wondering where Sheba is... Gargamel has cried non stop since he has been in and Pumpkin is staring at me intently in the living room.

Tonight I will mourn the loss of a piece of my life... the dog who has always been at my feet and puttering behind me.. the one that caused me to yell and scream at her, the one that made me want to get another.. the one that cuddled in bed with me, sat beside me in the car and stole snacks off from my plate.  The one that begged for popcorn and iced tea...The one that always greeted me at the door, went to bed with me and woke up with a doggie smile. Rest in peace now Sheba... you are loved and I hope you know that.

I'm so Happy

Time has gone by way to fast, way to quickly. The past few months have been a blur with developing a Mental Health Organization to start our own business with family and well trusted friends... and the daily life with my 2 bambinos. Caleb will be 8 months old this upcoming week! Sophie will be 3 in a couple of weeks... wow! Time sure does fly.

Looking back on Sophies developmental milestones, and the comparisons of others, I get sad and almost ashamed that Caleb is "behind" in areas... but it occurred to me the other day watching him lay on the floor watching his sisters every move... he is not behind! He is his own individual person- why should I compare him to others? Sophie is a do-er... a mover, one to strive to do the best... Caleb is my watcher. He is content to sit and watch the world move around with their busy selves, stressing out and rushing life to the next milestone... he is eager to watch the movements, the sounds, the lights and take it ALL in. So my soon to be 8 month old son will not sit up on his own because he will arch his back till he flops over wanting to lay down instead. He will not push himself up on his hands and stay on his belly... he is content to roll over onto his back and then when he gets bored he is content to lift his legs, grab his chubby toes and roll over on either side. He has no interest in anything else to drink, no bottles no sippies.... baby food is a joke to him as are teething cookies... however a popsicle he may share with you! He will bite you when you think it is cute to stick your finger in his mouth and feel his 2 bottom teeth and the next 2 coming in on the top... and he will laugh and giggle if you tell him he has stinky feet. He does not want to wave goodbye.. nor does he care to clap his hands... he is amused if you amuse him, just don't ask him to take part in it. He is at his happiest on my hip, wrapping his arm around my back and holding on for dear life... so don't make fun of him for wanting to be with his "mama" as he now calls me.... yes he is a mommys boy and he is okay with that! He loves to touch faces and will giggle at almost anything. Want to make him stop sputtering (he does not really cry but sputters and sounds like he needs a spark plug change)... put him on the ground and let him watch the world around him :) So no, Caleb is not behind... he is his own individual.

Sophie, my little furry of "let me help and try" has always exceeded all milestones. She talks on a 4-5 year old vocabulary at the early age of 2, walked by 10 months, full sentences at a year.... she is my do-er. She takes excitement out of the little things in life and looks past the bigger things that we as society push on kids. She is amused with mud puddles, junk mail and a simple dandelion. She begs to take tubbys and last night I let her take a shower at her Nannys. She was moving kind of odd, almost like she had to go to the potty, or soap was in her eye or that she was very uncomfortable in the shower. So when I asked her what was wrong, she replied on the verge of tears... Happy Tears that "I am so happy" and she was actually dancing! Her arms were going in odd directions, one foot up kicking to the back, one jumping on the floor, her head down and this what I later realized was, a laugh of pure delight! Sophie is her own individual too.

My kids have taught me a lot about life, and the recent lesson: Look at everything around you and absorb all information, don't rush, take your time and enjoy the small things in life that people often look over.

.5

Bubber roo is now 6 months old… wow did that go by quick! We celebrated with a half party for him yesterday with lots of goodies and no presents- just a day to celebrate our family, with our family. He has a new love for pureed pears and today tasted jello for the first time... YUMMMY as he bangs his hands on his highchair for more!

He has favorite toys now- and loves his blue blankie… if that is not around he will steal his sisters to chew on J Lay him down to sleep and give him a blanket and guaranteed he will pull it up to his chin to sleep! He has 1 tooth.. an odd one on the bottom and will grab a finger or knuckle from anyone near to gnaw on. I still haven’t given him a haircut and don’t want to J He is still a barrel of laughs and giggles and has a trademark finger sucking move in almost every picture we take of him.

Belly time is getting easier- but his Buddha belly prevents him from having much fun as his legs and arms are in the air J He has flipped over on his own a few times. His sleep patterns vary and I think he is going through another spurt or something as his night time 9-13 hour sleep patterns have turned to 1-2 hours.

His love for his sister has not changed. Sophie is getting better with being nice to him and letting him look at things- and sometimes even laugh before yelling at him J There is such a love that he has for her- he lights up and smiles. If she is upset, he will get upset.

Weigh in and check up happen in a few days- I'm betting he is pushing over 20 pounds. Ham hocks for thighs, tires for wrists and marshmallows for cankles.

He knows his family- and he loves his mommy. In his sleep you can hear him say moooommmmmma… and there is NOTHING like your baby reaching out intentionally to caress your face and look into your eyes – at that moment nothing else matters… he loves me and he knows he is loved J



Blankies

When pregnant with Sophie I thought that I could make a million things for her during that time, and make them absolutely positively beautiful and perfect... wow was I wrong!!! I started with a knit blanket pattern.. and 2.5 years later it is still in the works in a bag someplace in my living room tv cabinet... then I found out she was a girl... so I grabbed some pink yarn and crocheted till my hearts content! Then I realized a baby wont need a twin size length blanket.. that was kind of uneven and lopsided... so I finished it and put it away for a bit. I brought it out for her before she was 1.. about maybe 6 months or later I think. We packed it with us for trips and wrapped her up in it at the house... then at some point she started to "need" it with her all the time. With one dog at the time, and no addition on the house- we had small living quarters and the dog was always on it or the cat... so I grabbed some different color yarn and made her a smaller one.. this one EVEN MORE lopsided and funky. She didn't gravitate towards this new one.. she went with  both of them and there is the start of the "blankies" stories. She wont go anywhere without them- when she is tired, or scared there they are.. in the car, in the bed, at nap time... at dinner time.. all the time! It can be a fight to wash them so we alternate now and her "pink" has become her new favorite as of late. She tells us she "picks fuzz" off from them when she is tired but that must mean she is tired A LOT!!! Her purple one used to be her fav and has so many holes from her sticking her thumb in and toes through it. Last night I took them both to wash them.. I am SO TIRED of the dog hair on them.. so I swiped them from under her and threw them in the washer for a quick wash..... and then the power went out! My new lovely washer locks itself... and I could NOT get those blankets free at all for the life of me last night... what the heck was I going to tell' her???


She accepted it okay, we showed her them inside the washer door with the lantern and she could see they were in there safe and sound and then decided to take my grandmothers crocheted purple blanket we have in my closet to bed so she could pick fuzz from that, and she then pretended her "big" (huge body pillow) was her pink blanket and went to bed without an issue :) I never ever ever ever EVER thought we could go a night without those and a fight or a melt down... and my little girl did better then I EVER imagined :)


Now back to potty day... another blog for another day of Sophie's success with her new TinkerBells and potty chair!

The power of....

The power of routine... the power of consistency with children.. with adults for that matter!

The power of jammies... no matter the kind of day Caleb has had, if he slept all day, fussed due to teething, or was wide awake... put him in jammies and night time has begun! I think of those words "the power of jammies" every night and mean to post something cute, whimsical, or just random and I don't get a chance... but here I am finally!!!! (It is almost like hypnosis and BAM he is asleep!)

Little boy blue is teething... the 4th set that is scheduled to come in (bottom beside the middle teeth) has emerged. Just one on the left side and one upper canine or eye tooth as well. You can tell it bothers him. He is tired, he is drooly and EXTRA cuddly (loving this part). You cant put him down without a fuss... he just wants to be held, to be rocked, to be lulled into a land without tooth pain. Put him in his jammies and out he goes... I will not hear from him for another 8-13 hours as he sleeps soundly.. without any worries, pain or fuss.

Many parents complain about this process, and I will not! I CANNOT imagine the pain of multiple teeth coming thru... it is said to be equivalent or worse then a tooth ache. My darling Sophie was a great baby! You didn't know she was teething until the drool, the rash and the fever came... that was it! The circle/ring teethers are just dumb! She could never fit it in her mouth to where she wanted it, so cold or frozen wash clothes were her friends... she once had 6 teeth come in and we didn't know it until we saw them! Her last molars came in at some point between the last 4 months and we never knew it... either did she for that matter. So if Caleb is the opposite of this, I will take it with stride... my baby hurts and I quit my out of the home job to take this in home job... so I could BE THERE for him when he needed me... and I will take it with a smile on my face, vomit on my arm and shoulder and perhaps some sort of diaper contents on my leg from where he was sitting.... that's just how I roll!

Imagination

On the drive home from Sophie's great grandparents tonight... 5pm and dusk is settling in, but still light out.

"I need my sunglasses"

why? It's not sunny out

"I need them to see the deer tracks"
if you have them on, you wont be able to see the deer tracks
"I will take them off when I see the deer tracks"
so you don't need them?
"I need them to see the animals"
what animals?
"the crocodiles, hippo, giraffe, fish, elephants, deer, pigs, cows, sheep, cat, dog, bears, tigers....... " this goes on and on
Those animals are outside?
"yes they are trying to get to your car"
ok
"I need my sunglasses to see them mommy!"
-I give her the sunglasses-
"thank you mommy, that was so nice of you" (something she says all the time)
your welcome
"go crocodile, get back in the water! go back through the forest to your home in the water- get out!"
there are crocodiles outside?
"see them? they are trying to get to your car, but now I can see them and tell them to get out!"

How FRIGGIN CUTE IS THIS? I am quoting this.. and I am NOT exaggerating this at all... this was our conversation still so very clear in my mind! I got her to say some of it on video, but that was after this conversation had started....

So now my car is free from animals and these super viewer sunglasses are amazing things of interest for me.... I wonder what I will see if I put them on?

I know where I am headed

Everyday my children do something new that amazes me.. and everyday I think WOW this would be a great story for my blog to remember each moment... and everyday I FORGET what my intentions were... not tonight!!!

Sophie has this game she plays with her Nanny... they call each other weird names and tell each other what they are going to do with one another.. such as "your a goldfish" "your a blanket"... and on and on they go.
Sophie has been consistent with what she will do with me... she is always going to "put me in the trash can" and also "stuff me in the kennel".... so yeah I know my daughter will put me in a home someday.. she couldn't have said it any louder! :)

Happy 4 month Birthday

Happy 4 month birthday to my little boy blue! At 4 months you have moved into 12 month clothing and are in need of a new car seat because you are just toooo heavy to carry around comfortably anymore.

Today you had rice cereal for the first time ever :) You loved it too... only if you had the ability to chew and swallow it instead of smashing it around till it came back out! The process of learning!

Yesterday you pulled on your toy bar musical toy for the first time...  you love to grab and bat at your toys.. you can hold a rattle, and love love love your rattle wrist toys! You are going from a semi propped position into sitting by yourself.. and can pull your tummy muscles in so you can leeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaan forward. I think you just figured out your chubby legs the other day, are yours :)

Sometimes you pull on the animals on your jammies and clothes. Today you played with your shadow on my chest and loved the feel of my soft sweater in your fist. You have some amazing giggles and grins... sleep well (sometimes) and have an obsession with staring at your sister Sophie.

When pregnant with you, Sophie used to talk to you in my belly and you would roll, kick and just move and groove. Now she can screech, yell, talk, sing and dance for you and no matter if she is nice, mean, loving or whatever her mood- you look at her with such interest... and always have a smile for her!

Suprise!

If you've had the chance to meet my newest little man.. you know he likes to eat.. and eat.. and eat....

So today while attempting a 58 min workout.. he decided he wanted to eat on every break I could get... 3 times in 30 min! I gave up the workout until later and nursed him, let him fall asleep and then laid him in his bed... until he woke up again and wanted to eat... because he wanted to sleep and he hasn't had the chance to learn how to sleep any other way.... why would he? I quit my job to be home with my babies to be there for him... and that allows me to nurse him on demand and create this moose of a boy :)

Caleb's agenda? He wanted to nurse himself to sleep... My agenda? Nurse and go to sleep without feeling like I had a leech stuck to me and get back to my calorie burning agenda.... well here I am.. 3 hours later and still nursing him back to sleep. The poor buggah has bags under his eyes and I finally gave in and said yes yes child, you can stay in my arms for a little while longer... your only little once :)

Surprise is the title- where is the surprise? Well he has been "sleep eating" for so long that that familiar let down owwy owwy 5 second event happened and he woke up choking with large eyes like wth was that for?

Dirty Diapers and best friends

I find it amazing how Sophie's baby doll poops every time Caleb does too! She needs to be brought into the bedroom, outfit taken off... little spray, wipe and a new diaper on. Yesterday her baby pooped on her then threw up! The night before she peed through her jammies! Oh my goodness Mommy look what my baby did... all dramatic and drawn out :) According to her, her baby is getting bigger and bigger, growing up quick and she will need to show her how to walk soon.. but she is still too little to use the potty like a big girl like her.

The other night she picked out matching jammies for Caleb and baby... how stinkin cute!!!

The other morning I found her in the living room talking to her baby and her cat, Gargamel. "Gargamel- your my best friend! Baby, your my best friend too! I'm your Sophie mommy"


Her baby and Caleb have their 4 month check up this week... let's see how this goes!

It's been awhile

In the moment of life, I want to document it all in every format possible... but life doesn't work that way does it?
At 3 months my little man is developing his personality! He loves to talk with you, look in his mirror, watch youtube videos (seriously), can sit for hours watching the treadmill, will always laugh when  you sniff his feet and tell him they stink, is ticklish on his belly and can stick a whole fist in his mouth! We have found 2 birthmarks on  his belly and his monstrous size puts him in 6-9 month clothes which can be snug.. and a 2t winter hat! He has a smile dimple on his right lower cheek and a gummy grin. His hair has grown past the point of spiking it and I need to get the guts to cut it :(

I have been spending much more time reminiscing about Sophie's milestones.. the first time she learned to stand and hold onto furniture was the same day she learned to climb the stairs. Her first word she screamed at me in desperation to get out of her jumper (momma). Her first smile was in target- I remember her first real belly giggle... now Caleb does it when tickled :) She used to call our dog, Sheba, "baa" which was her 3rd word. She loved to dance and hear music, she would stomp her foot and screech. Singing "ring a round the roses" would send her into a spinning fit that could go on forever! The first time we put her window down in the car- she waved out the window and enjoyed the wind on her face... oh the moments we have shared so far :-) Much of them are caught on video, or film... and in our hearts!

It's a new year

The new year will bring new adventures to the White family! Caleb is now 3 months, Sophie is on her way to 3 in June.. it will be my first year as a full time mom and the journeys this brings us through will make us a stronger family :)

Sophie is wondering where Christmas time went, and when it will be back, and what is next- Halloween? So each day I have dedicated 1 posting on my facebook page to a celebration day and share with my her- today is trivia day... She is still asking where fisbee her elf went and can tell you after she asks that he went back with his other elf friends to Santas workshop until next year... wouldn't it be fun if he was around year round? Wonder if he would loose his magic if he was..

Caleb is well over 16 lbs (on our home scale) before he was 3 months.. he is growing out of his 3-6 month outfits due to his chubby self :-) He is having more conversations with me, smiling and almost a giggle. I lack putting him on his belly so he cant push himself up yet on his arms but we are getting there. He sleeps at nights from 6-10 hours straight, some nights he has a shorter cycle but I think its due to another growth spurt. He just went 6 days without naps and had to be held- as soon as you set him down he would freak out and cry so hard, tears would pour out! Yesterday he did take 2 naps, but took 3 hours to get to bed.... Sophie was such a sleeper that all she did was sleep... until Caleb was born she was still at 3 naps a day, then went to 2.. now down to 1.

Back to my garden planning! Just finished day 3 of p90x- and hope to loose my baby belly fast!
Happy New Year!

The Best Christmas Ever

Christmas Eve:
Husband has the morning off so we have time to be lazy in the morning and then let the kiddos visit with Nana and Gramp while we go off and help Santa deliver gifts to a well deserving family :) After visiting with family, we head for home to prepare for Santa's arrival.. however Sophie who has lacked 3 hours of a well needed nap fell asleep at 6:15 in the car. I carried her into the house half expecting her to wake up.... but she didn't. I carried her upstairs and took off her boots and jacket, leaving her in her jeans and t shirt. She awoke to ask me to tell Santa that the mud puddles were frozen. I kissed her goodnight, and turned on the Christmas lights for Santa to see our home that night! Caleb went to bed shortly after and was too tired to care- so Santa didn't get cookies and milk this year.... I hope he knows that he is welcome to help himself if he is hungry :-) The best gift arrived when my husband got home early from work and was able to help me prepare the house so we could get to sleep before Santa arrived :)

Christmas:
Chad and I woke up and started our breakfast buffet for the family who would be arriving around 9am. At 7am Sophie woke up.. we went into her room and she immediately asked if Santa came :) She got to open her mitten aka. stocking, first and received her first Pez dispenser.. Chad showed her how to use it and after eating her first piece she was in love!!! She was tickled to receive bubble bath, window crayons and other fun goodies including a small box of chocolates which she quickly scarfed. She found a few unwrapped gifts- a Hippo Tent and a shopping cart with built in scanner... which I asked her not to touch yet but quickly found her pushing it into the kitchen filled with her food and baby in tow. She marched in on her cell phone while "shopping at Walmart."

Family arrived and she just couldn't wait to open gifts so I let her open a few while we ate-
Daddy: bath time baby (opened it early), snow tube
Gramp and Nanny K (great): talking baby with stroller, newborn baby and clothes
Gramma Wendy and Gramp White: books, preschool book, markers and crayons
Papa and Nana Juan: playhouse, magnetic letter books, paperdoll set
Gramma and Papa Lacasce: puzzles
Nanny T and Al: reindeer suncatcher, homemade baby clothes, winne the pooh play set, fun bandaids, homemade socks, robe
Mommy: homemade apron, pic a nicka blanet, bathtime bag with jammies and bath markers etc
Mom and Dad: puzzles, books including Where's Waldo which Sophie found immediately on the first page!, shopping cart, hippo tent, mr. potatoe head, piggy bank
Aunty: Train set
Santa: digital camera, candy

Caleb received a few books, diapers, car seat mirror, wool leggings, a couple of toys, Sophie painted fabric
Sophies babies received some new clothes, diaper bag, bibs and a bottle

Mommy received amethyst necklace and earrings, "I love you to the moon and back" sign, screwdriver and knive set (needed it), snowglobe ornament, ladybug without real wings bobble head :), Sophie picked me out a marbled rolling pin
Daddy received LL Bean slippers, game camera, snow tube, smurf shirt, homemade hat and the most important gift a dinosaur

I am sure I am forgetting many things here (sorry recall 12 hours later).

The story of the dinosaur- I took Sophie shopping to pick something out for her dad and she was so excited to find this dinosaur and insisted he needed it, wanted it and she didn't want it for herself... so why not? It would make an awesome memory... she was so proud to buy it, and helped wrap it too! I hid it from her so she wouldn't tell Chad what it was, so when she gave it to him Christmas morning, she said "here dad, open it, its a dinosaur! WOOPS!" and started to giggle... she was so proud she just glowed! She later told him she got it for him to be safe... how friggin cute is that?

Sophie has been playing in her house and tent and is having lots of fun with her new things! I asked her what her favorite gift was this year... her hippo tent :) We played in her tent before bed time tonight, we got to see how our hair sticks to the tent with static, how high we could raise our legs and then cuddled. She even covered me up with one of her fav blankies and tucked the end of it under my head for a pillow. We said good bye to Fisbee tonight and talked about his journey back home to the North Pole and Christmas time is over after tonight. We hopped up the stairs and Sophie kissed her daddy's picture good night and told him to be safe, then sat on her couch looking out her window at the Christmas lights talking about how we would take them down soon. She asked what we would celebrate next, and if it was Halloween... it's funny how we really only celebrate Halloween and Christmas with lights and decorations... I think we need to visit this issue next and celebrate more holidays!!! Let's see where this takes us next....

To end my long blog tonight- I tucked her in to bed, kissed her good night. She said Merry Christmas Mommy, I love you! Did you have a good day? Which is exactly what Chad asks me all the time :)

Cuddles with Caleb now who is still snug in his new sleeper bunting- no rush to clean up or pick up as Christmas is about having fun and relaxing, not about stress :) Why do we rush to decorate because of the holiday spirit.. then rush to put it all away?

Off to find the next holiday to celebrate with my family and to bed we go! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!

Merry Christmas

The Christmas season approached in its usual "where the heck did the time go?" fashion.. and here we are Christmas Eve already!!! I have been busy with my little elves trying to save the world... okay no not really- but we have been busy baking and making many gifts this year for each other, family and for those who are in need.

Sophie is starting ( I think ) to understand our definition of Christmas and has been talking about Santa Claus flying in to deliver presents. Due to the overwhelming feeling of the" hurry up and open the next gift" Christmas morning, we let her open a present a night the week before Christmas. I think we once discussed starting the 12 days of Christmas but it slipped our minds. It was not until I started to wrap gifts did I realize they had way too many (as usual) and would not be able to play and appreciate them all... so we let Sophie open a gift each night after dinner. I think now she is so obsessed to open a gift each day she will not know what to do after Christmas :)

The house is quiet- everyone is napping and I will begin to prepare the house for guests tomorrow morning. Chad and I have to help Santa out today with some visits, and Chad will have to work with Santa this evening as well... but he will be home in time when the kids wake up :) Cant WAIT to see Sophie's reaction... Better go charge the camera batteries!

Merry Christmas to all!

The Christmas Spirit

Why is the Christmas season so stressful to some people?  Nothing ruins it more then the financial stress, keeping up with others, the crowds, the parking... etc. So why not make it more enjoyable for you and others by letting go of the stress next time you feel your blood boil... and smile and wish someone a happy holiday. Reflect on how this made you feel and possibly how it changed that persons day. It's amazing what a smile and gentle greeting can do for you and others. It's easy to get pissed off at the cashier's bad attitude- try to change it with kindness.

Are you financially unable to keep up with the trends and demands of society and the pull they have on our children? I know I am!!! And I am sooooo sick of commercialization of holidays. Yes I LOVE to shop... I love to give to others.. and the reason for this is because I enjoy their acceptance and to see the light that it gives to people :) I cant change this for my children unless I change me... so holidays need to be downsized but I still need to fulfill my love of giving so homemade goods and thoughtful memories are what I can always afford to give. I am so excited this year to try new recipes for cookie and bake good plates... and making fun crafts that are messy rather then the pretty expensive ones! With my love to shop I often ask to do it for others so I can get my fun filled event of finding the perfect gift for someone and not have to spend my money :) hehe

I am thrifty.. I love to find a bargain and research is my forte- so this years big gift to Sophie came from a yard sale and I am THRILLED with it! I want to teach my children to be thrifty and to love used and not demand new... another way of doing this is taking new items out of packaging when giving gifts... so really they never know :)

After reading some other peoples posts tonight- I think next year I will make a new tradition and do toy swaps with other families... and if that is what we can wrap up for holiday and birthday gifts great.. if it doesn't need to wait and is just a day for a gift that is great to! That allows us to weed out our toys.. and receive new ones AND give to others!

I hope through the years I can teach my kids empathy and compassion more then anything! Giving to others makes me feel so full of emotions that I cant even find words for them... and I hope my kiddos have that drive too. In the spirit of the season, remember giving isn't just a financial gift- it may be giving your time to allow date night to happen, or giving  a shoulder to lean on during difficult times, volunteering your time to others and making a special memory for someone who doesn't have family around anymore- wouldn't it be fun to take older children to a veterans home to listen to stories of the past?

What can you give to someone this year? A smile is a start :)

Changes

The transformation from inner demon to average 2 year old toddler I think is complete... I can deal with this :)
It has been a busy week and I wish I had a video or my blog handy each time Sophie says the cutest things! Santa has sent her a Christmas message that she LOVES to watch.. she has started to make her Christmas cookies and has asked to paint Caleb a shirt for Christmas!! Ask her what she wants for Christmas and she will tell you "candy" and "gingerbread"... when trying to explain to her Christmas stocking that get filled with candy - she says "ooooooh" like she had a different understanding of it previously. She has now asked to have a stocking for her "birthday" which is the day she asks for all the time... "can we do.. or can I have this for my birthday ..."
The other day she went and saw Santa Clause for the first time.. this day came after she had a rough morning with following direction and Fisbee her elf texted Santa his displeasure... Santa was there at Walmart waiting for her when we arrived... she couldn't wait to go see him and say sorry! The next visit she was too tired to care to see him, but did stand beside him for a minute.... the next day she took her stuffed Santa and sat her baby next to him and "took their pictures" and also asked to have one taken with her beside them.. I think that will be this years ornament :) She then preceded to sit on the floor and say with her magic wand "Happy Birthday Sheba, Happy Birthday Gargamel. HB Mommy, HB Daddy, HB Pumpkin, HB Nanny, HB Santa is coming to town!" Santa has since sent her a video message asking her to make more effort to pick up her toys... what a neat thing Santa did for her!

Today everything is "just terrible!" to her... and she needs socks on because "my feet stink" lol ooooo what a perfect book she could write with just 2 days of her activity.

Caleb is starting to try to sit forward by himself.. he is full of smiles and giggles and LOVES to tell stories. He is starting to sleep longer.. from 4 to 5 hour initial lengths of time at night! My little cuddle bug :)

Changes

Day 2 of working on a more positive approach with Sophie... and the terrible two's.. aka inner demon's.

Day 1 went GREAT!!! I was exhausted at the end of it from trying all day to not just praise her good behaviors, but highlight the above and beyonds without over doing it... she was great and as she stomped my foot, kicked the cat and pinched my lip after it was already bleeding.. I just asked her nicely to be easy and explained how upsetting it was when people and animals got hurt.. (to actually write all of what I did different and how our day went.. well would take a separate blog) BUT it was a good day on both of our parts for trying this change.

Day 2 she spent most of her day with her grandparents (great) but during our time together I did see improvement and changes in some areas. Instead of asking her multiple times to do something, I asked her 1x and if she said "no" then I left it at that and a natural consequence occurred.. if she ignored me I warned her I would ask 1 more time and then there would be a consequence.. so when she refused to bring me her cup for more drink... I didn't fetch it.. when she ignored me when asking her to come get a diaper change... I picked her up and didn't utter a word while she kicked and whined, and changed her... when she "couldn't" find her cup that was in front of her before we left the house this morning... I didn't grab it to avoid a melt down in the car.. and let the meltdown happen.. SOOOO the verdict.. this technique is starting a difference!

Oh if I just hadn't let her be 2 before :) I really do expect more out of her due to her intelligence and don't let her be her age very often... so this change needs to start with me! I don't want to reward her or encourage her to do things for a treat.. I want her to do something because it is the right thing to do..I want her to want positive reinforcement not negative. I want her to want to pick up her toys... I want her to want to be nice.. so wish me luck with this change.. because it is not really Sophie I am trying to change.. it is me! It is my expectations and my behavior trying to make things easier sometimes.....

So tonight she picked up, she ate dinner, and she didn't whine for very long AT ALL when we denied her what she requested due to various factors.. the time out step has changed to the step she can go to to whine and return to her activity she was removed from when she has a happy face...

Now for the quietness of the night to take over.. Sophie is in bed sleeping, Caleb is snoozing on my lap.. and our 8 year old German Shepard, Sheba is sleeping with her bff (the cat). I hope Sheba is dreaming of her days running in the park, chasing her Kong, stealing pizza's off tables, eating windows and phone lines.... and her days of having fun.hanging her head out of the sunroof. I hope she dreams of the good times she has shared with us.. and that she has no pain as she is silently suffering due to a rare condition that is causing her nerves to die, and causing her to have major hip and leg issues. Tonight was the worst so far, her legs cross when she stands, and hips bow out.. she couldn't even come in the house tonight when called... so Sheba... I hope you are pain free and your pain medication has kicked in.. I hope you have good dreams tonight and you are sleeping on the floor beside me because you want to, not because you cant move to the bedroom where you normally sleep. And I hope that Sophie continues her empathy and understanding of our pleading to be nicer to you while you are still here with us.... You need to rest up and get ready for Sophie's big adventures she has planned for you tomorrow- she wants you to color with her, she wants to trace you on paper and then hide on you like she did with her Nanny today.. so rest up Sheba... tomorrow will be a new day!

Happy 2nd month!

Happy 2nd month birthday to my little man!!! Today you are 8 weeks old... a whopping 14.5 pounds and 23.25 inches long... almost 2 inches you have grown- but you haven't hit your length growth spurt according to doctor.. so in a week or so we should see more growth! Your eyes look like they will be staying blue- just like your daddy's!!!

You had a multitude of vaccines today, but only 3 shots that you took with a small cry and ended the last one smiling afterwards into the nurses eyes... :)

Happy birthday mr man!

Knock Knock

Sophie: Knock Knock
Me: Whose there?
Sophie: Pear
Me: Pear who?
Sophie: PEAR!!! (laughing hysterically now)

It occurred to me the other day.. my daughter has been telling me knock knock jokes... yes my 2 year old daughter that has a vocabulary of a 5 year old... and yes it just occurred to me- where did she learn that? I asked around the family and found out that last week there was a show my grandfather remembers telling a knock knock joke on it.. and that was it.... so miss smarty took this short segment of television and has turned it in to a daily bit... and she understands how it works... her jokes are original and funny to her!

Where has the time gone? Really???  She has always been my baby.... and after I had Caleb, when I first saw her- I looked at her so differently for many weeks. I stared at disbelief on the size of her- I couldn't believe how tall she was... how thick her legs are (cute chunky)... how BIG her hands were... when did her eye lashes get so full and long? She has these beautiful round eyes- when did they get so large? She looks like a tiny little adult.. is she supposed to? When did she grow up???

My fear during pregnancy #2 is how I would love my children...would I treat Sophie differently? Would I love #2 just as much, or push Sophie aside??? someone told me this that always stuck...
you will love them differently.. and for different reasons and that is okay!!!

I love my children- and that statement is so true... I love them differently but the same. My love for Sophie as my little baby did change... I loved her for who she has grown to be right now. For this exceptionally bright, beautiful and tall 2 year old who acts like a kindergartner... and that's my down fall, to my love for her..... She is so high functioning- and understands complex things for her "age" that I take it for granted when she acts her age.... that's all I can complain about haha- that my child acts her age!!! Having a conversation with her and to hear her replies, questions and her understanding of it, you would be amazed sometimes... so when she tells me why she doesn't know why she is in timeout... or refuses to pick up her toys... or hits me and yells at me... I get frustrated because she is SOOO smart and intelligent that I expect her to be able to follow the rules all of the time.

I hope to reflect on this daily and change my expectations so I don't set her up to fail.. now or ever!

So in sum, my love for her changed... but a great appreciation for who she is has grown! I love her differntly then Caleb.. and differently then as I did before Caleb.. and I cant explain it with words. As a parent- you understand :) I love my babies.. and Soph will always be my little girl- my favorite first child :)

Is it Christmastime yet Mommy?

The holidays are under way here at the White house... haha that was funny! No really, they are though! Sophie regularly asks why it is not Halloweentime now and if it is Christmastime yet.

Last night I was able to sneak outside to decorate my play house that I had as a child.. some 20 plus years ago... and have some of the lights hooked up to music! Lot's more to do in that department, but it's started!!!! The tree may go up tonight, it depends on how tired my husband is... I really want him and the children to be part of it so I will wait for the right time and pray the cat doesn't tear it down!

I asked Sophie this morning what she wanted her brother to get her for Christmas... "a gingerbread cookie"
What did she want to give him?- she wants to paint him, the cat and me a shirt... so we will get some materials this week for that project... cant wait!

Fisbee has come back to us every morning.. this morning he decided to hang off the curtain rod- silly Fisbee as Sophie would say! His magical powers work!!! After the inner demon came out of my 2 year old yesterday morning on our way out the door for our usual Sunday breakfast with her Grampy... we saw Fisbee texting Santa Claus about her behavior.. her reply "What will Santa say?" ... well guess what Santa did- he followed us to Walmart and told her to be a good girl this year!!! (perfect timing huh?) She embraced him and wanted to talk to him some more, but she talks so low he couldn't hear her.

So to end this mornings update- I want to know your Christmas traditions... how you decorate your tree... how you work the holidays for your children or family?